Heavy Weight Forks in Frosty White

I know, it sounds like some kind of Avant-garde piece of art from the 1960s, right? "Heavy Weight Forks in Frosty White No. 3," or something, by Andy Warhol (who strangely avoided forks his entire career. Why?).

I gotta tell ya, forkateers, I was initially blown away by the quality of this piece (unknown forkery), and at a baby shower, nonetheless. The handle, the grip (even a nice finger-guide detent at the neck - rare, indeed), the aesthetics — win, win, win. The only weak part, sadly, is the tines. Come on', folks! You were so close to getting a perfect Tinezone score, but ya skimped on the tines, didn't ya?

The tines are flimsy and unacceptable for anything but cake. I was afraid (seriously) that a tine would break loose and puncture my palette. This is clearly a failure of the engineering department. It makes no sense as a cost-saving design, because so much high-quality plastic went into the handle. So close, so close. I weep.

TINE ZONE RATING: B- 

Construction: A

Balance: C

Grip: A

Mouth Feel: F 

Stabbiness: D